


i'm just a little unwell

by cynnamon



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Real World, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-29 07:44:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6365341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cynnamon/pseuds/cynnamon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Drabble set in a real world AU where everything's pretty much the same and Anders is a mentally ill illegal clinic doctor. Based on <a href="http://tsualart.tumblr.com/post/141515277107/leaveliestotheliars-tsualart-anders-coze">this picture</a> by Tsuala and my comments.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'm just a little unwell

Anders took a shaky breath and stared at the reflection in the mirror. He should have showered. Or slept more. But that was always true. He tried to remember the last time his reflection showed more than dead eyes, dark circles, and a lack of personal hygiene. 

_Before you were twelve, when they took you away. How old are you now, Anders? How long have you been living like this?_

He closed his eyes and reminded himself of the good things. _I have a home. A real one. And a job. I’m not a starving runaway living on a park bench. That’s improvement._

_Real house, fake job. Barely enough to buy food or pay rent. Aren’t they cutting your power?_

_I’m making a difference._

_You aren’t doing good enough._

He always lost this battle. He opened his eyes at scowled at his reflection. _At least I’m doing_ something.

_That’s improvement._

He ran his fingers through his hair, tying it out of his eyes. 

_I’m making a difference._

_\--_

Anders stopped outside of _Lirene’s Imports_ long enough to take a deep breath and compose himself. Lirene always said one of three things when he saw her; I have something for you, you look like shit, or I’ve got bad news. ‘You look like shit’ was usually the best option - he one that ended in the least death, anyway - but one day he’d find a forth option. He wasn’t confidant in that determination.

“I’ve got something for you.” She said without bothering to look up from her work. He showed up the same time everyday, like clockwork. He could at least trust himself with that much. “It’s down in the basement.”   


“How bad is it?”  


“I think his leg was broken.”   


“And?”   


“Don’t think the police are after him.”   


“Anything else?”  


“He’s about fourtheen/fifteen. Not a usual. Don’t know his name. He came in about a half an hour ago, gave him Tylenol 3. Think he’s sleeping. He wouldn’t tell me his story. Just who sent him here.” 

“Okay.”  


“You look like shit, by the way.”   


“Yeah.” He said. “I know.”   


\--

“Varric.”  


“Blondie. Came out of your cave, I see.”   


“I need something. I thought you might know somewhere I could get it.”   


“And what do I get in return?”  


“I’ll owe you a favor.”   


“You’ve been creating quite the stock pile of those lately.”

“It’s for the kid you sent me.”   


“What kid?”  


“Do we really have to do this?”  


“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”  


“Right. Because I know so many guys who fit the description of ’some dwarf who talked too much and thought he was funny.’”   


“Ah, that could be anyone. But, anyway, if I was looking for the type of stuff that might help set, I don’t know, a broken bone, I’d talk to Stern out in Redmark. He’d know how to fix you up with something.”

Anders gave the ghost of a smile. “Thank you, Varric.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Hey, before you go... I don’t mean to sound critical, but have you considered a new line of work?”  


“Such as?”  


“Pretty much anything? I don’t think ‘illegal clinic runner’ has a bright future. Or any retirement plan.”  


“Lirene runs the clinic. I’m just the healer.”  


“My mistake."  


“I have to get back. I’ll get you more of that stuff for your brother.”  


“Wait. I’ve got a favor to cash.”  


“What’s that?”  


“Just... consider it. You could go professional, you know.”   


He pressed his lips and shook his head. “A real hospital would never help these people.”

“You wouldn't need to give up the clinic. Just get a fancy degree so you can do it better and on the side you could earn yourself some real money.”   


“I’d need money for that.”  


Varric shrugged. “You got enough of that stuff you’ve been making for my brother and I might know a guy who’s willing to sponsor a promising young doctor.” 

“Thank you, Varric, but even if I wanted to... I doubt there are many schools who take drop out runaways.”  


“Just think about, yeah?”  


“You are cashing a favor.”  


\--

Anders stared at his reflection and told himself he could face another day.

_You’ll never make a difference if you go on like this._

_I’m doing the best that I can._

_It’s not enough._

He closed his eyes and tried not to drown in that voice. Some days he felt like he was losing himself to it completely. A soft meow and a the press of a warm body against his legs pulled him back to himself. He gave a broken smile and lifted the little thing into his arms.

“I’m sorry. You don’t like to see me frown, do you?”  


“Mrow.”  


“I’m sorry. I’ll find you something to eat soon.”  


“Mrow?”  


“Yes, me too. I need to use up whatever’s in the fridge anyway. They’re cutting our power today. Don’t look at me like that. I’ve got an extra blanket. We’ll get it back next month.”   


“Meow.”  


“Yeah. Me too.”  


\--

Anders stopped outside of _Lirene’s Imports_ and sighed, composing himself like he did every morning. He looked worse than he had yesterday. Four hours of sleep, a piece of toast, and a splitting headache did that to a person. Not that that was new for him. _As long as it’s not bad news._ He wasn’t sure he could take bad news today.

Lirene was at her desk, as usual, when he entered. She looked up at him and smiled. “Good news, kid.” 

His heart sunk for a moment before he realized what she’d really said. He frowned, brow creasing. “What?” 

“I said good news.”   


“This isn’t funny.”  


“It’s not a joke. I have no work for you. Go home.”  


“What do you mean?”  


“I mean there’s no one who needs you, Anders. I have no patients. Go home. Take a break. You deserve it.”  


“But-”   


“ _Go._ ”  


He stared at her, waiting for her to say ‘Syke!’ or for some kid with a gun shot to stumble in through the door. Nothing happened.

After a few minutes of waiting, staring at Lirene’s amused face, he realized that for once the world had no new awful things to deliver him. 

_Maybe you are doing something after all._

“You know where to find me.”  


“Go get some sleep. You look like shit. You really do.”  


He laughed shakily. “Yeah. I know.”

\--

Anders opened the door and rubbed his eyes not really sure what to do with himself. He let himself rest against the door as he closed it behind himself, not even bothering to try the lights. Maybe there was a rally somewhere... he could do some supply collecting... he might stumble across someone who needed him... he was pretty sure there was some old spray paint under the sink... he could check. Ser-Pounce-A-Lot was likely in need of more water, anyway. The dumb cat was always tipping it over. 

He entered the kitchen, taking the bowl from the floor and making his way to the sink. The water was already running when he remembered that it wasn’t supposed to be.

“What?” He whispered audibly, a prickly feeling running down his spine. There shouldn’t be any water. There was no power. If there was water.. Tentatively he tried the light switch. Maybe he had the date wrong. Maybe it was a mistake? Maybe-

The kitchen flooded with the dull yellow of bad lighting, illuminating an object he knew hadn’t been there when he left. In the center of his table sat a copy of _The Communist Manifesto_ that certainly didn’t belong to him. He kept all his books together on his bookshelf. 

He approached the object precariously, opening the cover to find someone else’s sloppy hand writing- _Lowtown can’t have its only illegal healer freeze to death, now can it?_

His vision blurred as tears welled in his eyes. Hugging the book to his chest he smiled one bright genuine smile and for one moment the world felt okay. 

“Come on, Pounce.” He whispered to the cat at his feet. “I know what we’re doing today.”  



End file.
